Finally i knew the meaning of "i knew i love you b4 i met you" but the knowledge was useless..Anyone felt like this b4?
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
* This entry is simply written for my personal reference hence if u do not understand any of it..don't worry , its not a confusing entry..its just not meant to be understand by everyone.
These recent times have gotten me thinking about some stuffs-that i have used up 2 , 3 years of my life on someone , who makes my life miserable and ironically was the same person i had most fun and confiding moments with . Few months ago , something happened..and i realised that it is time that i wake up -from my self delusional idea that he gonna change or the situation will signal a turn of events . I come to the conclusion that a leopard will never change it's spot ..may be he will one day , but i won't be there to find out . Because i gave up on him ..i finally {"wake up my idea" (as lynn would have put it) and decided that he is'nt worth my time , my youth on . It took me two years plus to realise a simple truth..even though i had other "diversions " in between , nothing could pull me away from believing in an non existance ray of hope.
Really , i have no idea that many of you outta there share the same sentiments as me, till recently. Surrounding friends of mine who used to jeer at me , pass snide remarks about me and other nicer ones out there who simply thinks that im a fool to still continue or a sentimental stubborn girl who hang on to a thin thin of thread . Now some of these friends are facing the same exact situation as i had been in ( most of these girls are the nice ones who just sympathise with me in the past ) and i could understand their emotions and dilemma ar.
So girls who feel like a fool and feel torn..don't worry it will pass..its just a phase of our "Singleton" life . One day when u are jolted up by some "jerk-y" stuffs that he did and which is the last straw..then u will Give up . Right now just have fun and take things lightly till then .
For me..im glad that the phase has passed and may be we could even get a dinner before he went overseas. The 2 -3 years have not left me without a barrel of reflections , lessons and growing up along the way . I appreciate the lesson learnt but hope sincerely that my Right One will be here (soon) before i go mad and become a "NUN"...hahah...
Hmm that suits my conservative self...will tell my mom that tml. hahhaha
Penned @
10:20 PM
