Whats your Resolution for this year?
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Hey!~~~ Hows 2005 coming along for all?? I have been going back to school (for volleyball purposes) about once a week . There was once when Pearl was "caught" by M.I 's vice principal , and to actually pick up a piece of HOmeless newspaper that was flapping innocently near the drain. *To digress alittle , at that point of time i was mentally dictating the paper to quickly flap into the drain and also thinking to myself " This useless paper darn free ar , nothing to do but swish here and there infront of the Vice P , purposely wants to get us into trouble ar . Stoopid PAper! " * Anyway , back to the story -While picking up that useless scrap of newspaper , Pearl was mumbling 'loudly' : " Graduated from school liao , not a student of this school , still want to ask me to pick up litter ." ( If you thought that mumble cant be loud then you are wrong because Pearl has shown me that it is possible to do so no matter how paradox-ic it may sound to you .)
The vice Principal upon hearing that , did not let her off the hook , instead he rotorted :" Oh , so you have graduated? (He then point to the dustbin in a disturbing relaxed manner ) Just throw the paper in there . " It is a "disturbing relaxed manner" because personally i find the gesture to be an eyesore , as if we are his maid and have to help him pick up rubbish .
Hahah...nah , i did not really find the gesture irritating BECAUSE i WAs not the one picking litters for him ...hahhahahahha
That day both of us went back for volleyball practice , which as some of you may remember was coach by Ehum ehum...RONALD!!!! TA da.......*******
However he was shabbily dressed that day , clad down to long socks and HUGE sportshoes. Pearl and I was sniggering behind his back whenever we see him in long socks , i mean he looks darn funny and nerdy in those socks . To clarify , he was not handsome AT ALL to begin with (nono , samantha if you are reading , i did not just say that to get girls off his track or admire him ..im an HONEST person. *winkz) . And anyone who knows me well enough , knows that im a sucker for tall and lean guys , which seems to be part of my fantasy anyway.
Jokes aside (Hawa -take note , all that you have just read above is only for Pure fun and laughter , peace and JOY =Joke only and not meant to be taken seriously by anyone )
Ronald's training was quite fun . On the other hand , both of us (Pearl and me..who esle right? cant be Ronald and me eh??hahahha) *Jolyn slaps her head to stop conjuring up images of ...her fantasy. * realised that after a long break from volleyball , our skills seemed to have abandoned us and leaving us with skills less than average . Which in fact is rather humiliating as both of US were supposed to be seniors and the skills we inherited does not appear to be so .
Resolution for 2005 : To polish up my volleyball skills and not humiliate myself infront of *ehum ehum* my juniors la (what were you THiNKING??hahaha) .
Shooting star , a gift or a mirage?
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Many years ago being the naive girl that i was ,i believed that after you see a shooting star , ur wish would come TRUE. Finally after reading so many novels and episodes of "liu xing hua yuan" , i really did See a SHooting star!!!
3 years ago , i was walking along the stretch of East Coast Park and busily sms-ing . When i took a short glimpse at the cloudy sky , i saw the star flew past and disappear into the clouds . Being the ultra "kiasu" person that i am , i quickly clasp my hands and made a wish . A wish that was half granted but not really in the way i wanted it to. No.. i did not just tell you that shooting star works but coincidentally that happens.
Love cannot be forced , let nature takes it course . Once i used to think that if you want something bad enough , work hard and go for it then it may come to you . You cannot achieve anything if you sit there and wait . Maybe i was wrong , in love you cant take destiny into your own hands . In my case , i fought hard and veer slowly towards my dream of that time , or rather the secret wish that i made . A dream that i finally made possible become a nightmare that i never want to relish again . Not exactly a nightmare as it was more or less my fault , i indirectly "forced" it to happen when it should not. Its my just desert . However i realised that Dream hurts , and wishes may work out although maybe not in the way that you want it to.
Hence last month when my friend and I were at Jurong Hill , i saw another shooting star again . This time i did not make a wish . I was afraid and i do not trust the outcome that "granted wishes" may bring.
I was made a fool because i allow myself to . I was sad because i wanted to mould my destiny myself . I suffered because i thought i could make it happen . But i cant and i Did'nt.
Then one day i realised that after everything has ended , i was simply a temp. diversion . That my intrusion was simply a kind of entertainment , which impose no purpose or whatsoever .
Luckily , fate has bestow someone , to me , for me. I fathom that if you do not try to make ya fantasy into reality , love may come to you . I will make up for my foolishness and try to make amend to my soul . To love and be loved is the greatest thing on earth .
"I be here and you be near and we can make our dreams real ."
Dear Flea Jar...
Sunday, January 09, 2005
All these years i thought that i have moved closer and closer , after every conquest .
In the end ,to realised that all along i have not inch any closer , instead remaining on the same spot
and walking was simply an illusion, my destination was a mirage that was never there .
Its like running on a treadmill , perservering on for miles and miles but to let reality hits you when you step off the machine - that you are still on the same spot despite the fact that you have been running for so long . Where have all these miles gone to ? I feel tired , wasted .
I wear clothes of different style to mask my emotions , to show that i can be funky and look happy even though i feel sad , disappointed or dejected . Fashion keeps changing , i keep changing styles too but my heart remain , like a stone they used to say .
I wear shoes , sandals and heels to doll up my Trampled soul , to cover up that sense of misery that may leak out from my soles . You cant see them thus i assume these shoes work wonder .
I wear make up , not to be pretty , to look professional but simply to etch a kind of FACE that i intend to let you see . To hide my emotions or expressions that i could have shown if there is no make up on my face . I paint a Happy , cheerful and vibrant face . What lies underneath , no cleanser will tell .
Let the old chapter close and new ones begin . Before you realise it , the ending may be near even before you decided to end the story .
To be lost in yourself is normal , to be lost in your misery is pure torture , to be lost in this world and not realise your worth is stifling to one's soul .
I served no important role in this world, im simply here to make up numbers on this earth , one out of the billions here .
Hmm i just thought of this today, something that inspired me - Dream and achieve not what you think you will be able to do , but what you thought was impossible and way out of your reach .
Impossible is a word that takes time as a limit and underestimating one's capability .
Age is only a number , to let one look back into the past and see how far one has grown , it serves no meaning . Name is only to make many things possible and easier , not of much importance .
New year?dun feel soo
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
This is the 1st time when JAn starts and i am not in sch for a new term. It feels kind of weird when everyone esle is either working or studying while im still on a long long holiday. I know ..i should probably go and find a job , well im simply lazy to go for an interview .
Bumming around ..maybe i can give a lecture on how to enjoy oneself immensely during a long long holiday . Anyone has a new temp job to introduce? *winkz*
HAppy New year!
Sunday, January 02, 2005
Hows everybody's new year ? I celebrated mine in a car cramped with my cousins , on the Malaysia highway ..watching fireworks that i never thought i could enjoy on that particular day .
It was a rather eventful day because i had the sudden impulse to get away from the crowded Singapore during a festive season (Xmas memories ) and thus I DID.
Well , i just got back from a relaxing Msia trip , which i spent most of the time doing shopping and eating simple but extremely delicious food.. *yummy* ( Samantha ..are you envious?? hahaha) Even the wanton mee , roti prata and toast bread are much more yummy back there . I came back alone on a train which was quite fun and good for the soul . So relaxed was i that i actually painted my nails , read my book and munched on my titbits (not doing all of them together la , my ...what were you thinking?..haha ) The poor guy sitting next to me was so pitiful ..he had to endure the dreadful smell of my nail polish (hahha serves him right for choosing "that " seat . ) and to see me munching food while he can only read his newspaper . I was totally pampering myself on the train ride man ...anybody who had seen me would have thought that im having a holiday on the ride and not simply travelling itself .
Oopps...Forgot to mention the main aim of writing (politically correct , it should be typing..) this blog . It is to mention that i FINALLY went to a SURPRISE PARTY , i mean we prepared it for one of Bucky 's friend and i being his girlfriend gets to participate in it . Its so darn fun!~! Mark (the birthday boy) was so shocked when he came into his house to have the whole lot of us screaming and "jumping on " him . Yes , i aint exaggerating , Bucky almost did jump on HIM . (Poor boy , i cant imagine how he would love spending his birthday in hospital , simply because his best friend tried to give him a surprise by jumping on him ) The food were wonderful..marshmellow truffles , tarts , chicken "kebab" , otahs. By the way , we gave him a exquiste present -a MTV video starring BUCKY , DANIEL ,Adrian , FAnnie (MArk's gf) and ME being the Bossy Director .
Okok..cant write anymore ..will continue about the video next time . If you don't wanna hear or rather "see" about it then msg me on the tagboard yah . Bye!~ HAppy 2005!!