In Loving Memories ..
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
If anyone ever once told me i would be stumped by problems of the heart a year ago, i would have laugh at his/her face .. I did not even think that i could truely love someone lest to be hurt badly by Love . Yet a year ago , i Love..or rather Loved. Half a year later , i love and lost but continued loving ...thinking one day , i will succeed in getting him back cos i thought our love was strong enough. "I just need him to realised that..that we belong together.." so the past 5 months were spent with me in delusion. While the main lead was actually falling in love with another person while i was busy thinking how great it would be if we do get back , what i am willing to do and change in order for our "coming" r/s to be better than the past one.I thought of going to his ORD Parade by going as HAN SEn's guest even if his own gf was going..silly me right?? But no one knew cos we made a pact once that i will be there for his ORD Parade, whether or not im his G.F . Although when i knew he gotten back with his Ex-Gf, i though may be , just may be it was a deploy to forget me. Yes...egoistical me did not wanna accept the fact that he was over me and happily in love..i delude myself still . Just because i cant find someone to replace him , i thought he will not be able to, too. Yet i was wrong. I knew only today , that he love her yes, in hurtful present tense. May be he loves me too. But for me , Love so pure should only have 1 person in our heart..two person in love. If you have love someone new , our Love , r/s can only be left as memories...Our Love was pure..strong , not threesome. I wan you to be free of pressure so i decided to free you from all these trouble and mess.YOu taught me something..i will never forget. To be Loyal and never hurt your loved one even if its unintentionally. I will remember that , thank you (i genuinely meant it dear...) and will try not to repeat the mistakes i have done. The hurt i have caused you , i will not want that to happen to my loved one again. I learn from you and our r/s. My 1st ever serious r/s .Thanks for the memories you gave me...The same story that you and i had , you thought you suffered towards the end..It was different for me..Mine was a lovely story , i reckon i had a wonderful , patient and sweet bf who once did everything he could for me. YOU sacrifice, i sacrifice.. it wasnt any form of torment to me. Hardship it was..but beautiful while it lasted for me.Our memories lie like a beautiful rainbow...colourful with all the things we did Like the morn Mac breakfast we got..by walking in the rain as a "romantic gesture".towards the end of the rainbow i fathom ,i saw a pot of goldThe gold shone brightlywith our memories of balestier , Xmas eve , Dvds and even stuck cuddling at home on weekendVolleyball , a sport that drew us closebecame a sport i void and avoid in fear of memories that taunt melike us in sport jerseyNow i play soccerand you wear matching soccer Jersey with another half.It wasnt me..i cant regret nor reconcileIts our love that fadedand i cant save from afar..Left me in the same spot5 mths..stuck in a rutFinally our chapter came to a closureAn ending..of a beautiful storyA happy ending for you i hope , my dearMy story will continue as i venture forwardalone , with our memories in tow..
Penned @
2:35 AM
